My name is Kaaliyah (Kay or Layah) Owen. I'm 14 years old. I have recently been blessed with a beautiful baby girl who I have named Zoey after my mum. I live in the care system and am currently placed with a foster family in Great Yarmouth. I'm really loving it as were right on the beach. I've found them to be the most supportive ever as I had a hard time when my mum died as my dad turned to drink. I recently also lost my dad but I know that me and Zoey are going to have a good life where we are now.Me and my daughters dad Joey have a really on and off relationship which I know we now need to sort out not only for Zoey but also for Joey's 3 year old daughter Aaliyah. I can't wait to experience life as a mummy to a little girl and Step-mummy. Also a kid who now knows what it's like to live in a family where I'm loved and looked after and I don't have to do the looking after.
Blogging helps me to express the words I can't to other people which makes it less stressful on me.Which is always good.

~All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.

Monday 15 July 2013

# 13 - Niko Brendan Owen ~ Happy 1st Birthday

Hey Baby Boy,
  I know your not here OK. But I need you to know that mummy misses you and that you're a big brother now so you have to do your brotherly duty and look after Zoey from the skies. Help me keep her safe. I know me and daddy aren't getting along at the moment and I know it breaks daddy's heart as it does mine that you aren't here with us growing. You should be and I should be tucking you into a bed and looking after 2 children but instead I can't sleep because of how upset I am.

 I know that Nanna and Grandpa are looking after you now and I hope your being a good boy for them. I remember grandpa's face when I said we was calling you Niko and the day he saw you he fell in love with you. You were taken too soon Niko and we have to deal with that everyday. No matter where we go or what we do you are still part of us and a part of everything we do. I know I may go get a balloon for you tomorrow and take your sister to the beach to let it fly. Make sure your watching OK baby.

I'm so proud to be your mummy. You will always be my child. Even though you aren't here. My baby that's what you will forever be. I hurt too much to share photos of you. I want to keep you all to myself. Maybe one day I will share them with the world for them to see your beautiful face. Niko. What did I do wrong baby? Why couldn't you stay with us. Maybe if you had stayed then your daddy wouldn't hate me so much. I know deep down he does and everything he said to me. I try to hide the tears and be brave for you and now be brave for Zoey to but tonight I just can't do it Niko..

Shine forever my little star

Lots of Love
Mummy and Zoey xx


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